Tuesday, August 11, 2015

How Not to Respond to a Friend in Need

As you all know my sister in law died very suddenly this past weekend. It was a total and complete shock.  So I did what I think most people would do-I called my friends to let them know and to ask for prayer for my brother and his sons.   I left a voicemail for one of my friends to please call me.  I did not say what it was about.  I don't like to leave those kind of messages.  Well I never got a response.

Today when I got back to work here is the message I got from her:  I got your message yesterday.  Sorry I did not return your call.  At our house, Sunday is a day of rest and for spending time with family.  As you know, my husband is only off on the weekends so that is the only time we have together.  So what's up?

Wow.  To say I'm hurt by the response it putting it mildly.  The one person I thought that would not be so understanding has been wonderful and one of the people I consider a good friend just blew my off or at least that is how I took it. 

I am posting this to be an example of how NOT to act.  Each day I am learning more and more and  sometimes that learning curve hurts.  You learn who your friends are, who you can count on during times like this. 

I'm taking this to heart and making sure I don't do this.

Thanks for reading.


  1. My 2 cents: you should cut your friend some slack, you are still reeling from your recent loss. she did respond, explaining that they unplug come Sunday for together time, I respect that. would you have felt differently if the reason was they were traveling? Attending religious services? Visiting an ill relative if not I'll themselves? If I had the same habit, unless you left a message that said urgent, call me asap vs please call me, I wouldn't have jumped on the phone, which she may not have checked until mon a.m. We live in an instantaneous society, one of the reasons I chose not to own a smart phone. Just mho

    1. Good points. I knew they go to church as we do so I did not expect an immediate response. Had it been me and we unplugged on the weekends I would've returned the call. Just a different outlook. There are other things but no need to bring them up.