Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Would you still work full time if you didn't have to?

We don't have children but I've never felt that "need or desire" to work fulltime until retirement.  I've always wanted to be a stay at home housewife.  I know there are some out there, probably not a lot but I know they exist somewhere. 
Our first mistake was buying a home that needed 2 salaries.  Big big mistake.  Second mistake has been horrible money management on MY part, not dh's.  Now here we are, I'm 52.  I still don't want to work fulltime until retirement.  The house will be paid for in 3 years.  I would pay more on the house but I need to build up our emergency fund.  I would that to be at a minimum 3 month.  Yep you got that right.  Due to MY mismanagement we don't have at least a 3 month EF.  Now I know that most Americans fall into this category but I don't want to be like most Americans.  The recession the past few years taught me a HUGE lesson.  So many people just like me, not exactly living the high life but no savings.  When they lost their job, they quickly ran through whatever savings they had.  Then they ran through their 401k's, they applied for food stamps, many lost their homes etc........We all know what happened.  I don't have any friends who fit this scenario but I'm sure some of you do.  This was a wake up call for me. 
I could work part time and survive, I think.  But health insurance is the question.  To add me to my dh's policy would be quite expensive.  I think his premium would go up at least $400.00.  I've spoken with him about working part time as there are times that I just hate where I am.  He tells me I can but his tone of voice doesn't exactly sound so positive.  I think he is telling me what I want to hear.  In all reality we could make it if I worked part time but that old health insurance thing is like a bad penny, it just keeps coming back.  I couldn't qualify for a private policy, at least I don't think so.  I had major foot surgery in 2009 and back surgery in 2013.  I don't want to sign up for any of the new "affordable" plans via Obamacare. 
So I'm plugging along, working full time.  I don't hate my job at all but I don't feel or think it's my calling. I don't look forward to going. I would love to feel appreciated. It does provide a good salary.  One in which I am finally on a savings drive to build that EF.  It does provide good benefits.  Health insurance, retirement accounts such 401k's or money market accounts.  They match a certain percentage of what we put in.  It is a good company to work for.  I can not complain about my employer at all.  I just want to be at home.  I know that sounds ridiculous but it's how I feel.
When I was out with my back surgery, someone commented on how good I looked.  I did look good.  You know why?  I wasn't stressed.  Sure my back hurt from the surgery and recovery but I wasn't stressed and that reflected in how I looked.  I mean people were surprised at how good I looked. 
Can anyone out there relate? 


  1. No, I would definitely not, and definitely do not work full time....because I don't have to. Before kids, I made it quite clear that my passion lie in making the home. I left the work force before my first was born, long before even my student loans were paid off, knowing that I could go back if needs be. Husband is now retired, youngest is 8, and I still have no intention of returning. We like being home, and made some hard choices to allow this. Our penny pinching ways continue too, though we could ease up a bit. It makes no sense to us to spend top dollar, when we know there is a cheaper way to do things. Plus, with both of us home full time, we have even more time to work on solutions beyond tossing out $$$. As for the kids, just because we have $$$, doesn't mean we should spend it. We earned it, we saved it. They get the basics of food, clothing, shelter, braces and college. But an ipad??? A smart phone? Car? No. Thrift store found set of. Pfaltzgraff dishes you find and fall in love with at age 11 for your first apartment after college? Certainly!
    Sadly, many of my peers deride us for these choices. I think they see me as lazy and selfish....women can be hateful.

  2. I think, for many people, I'm working unnecessarily. We already have quite a bit saved for retirement, own two houses, and for the most part, I would love to take some time off. But, I feel guilty. I'm capable of making an extremely high salary with my skill set, and it feels "wasteful" to squander that opportunity. I was raised in a very working class family, & it feels crazy insane to walk away from my job. That said, it's something I think about *all the time*. I hope to retire early, & if at all possible, to go part time long before that. This is most definitely not my calling. We don't spend money unnecessarily, and I think that I'm even more frugal with money now than I've ever been before - because I appreciate the fact that I'm working so hard for it.

  3. Well I know you didn't ask for my advise, but I'll give some anyway.....it is worth what you paid for it.....lol

    If you aren't satisfied with your life, take a few hundred $s and get an appt. with a financial counselor....not one that is in that business to SELL you products but a true, "pay me by the hour for advise" counselor. I am sure Dave Ramsey's site can hook you up with one or visit the NAPFA site-- http://findanadvisor.napfa.org/Home.aspx

    Go there with all your financial info. and your desires and see what and if he/she thinks you can get to where you want to be and how best to accomplish this.
    It might mean selling your home and downsizing, getting a new job or another job with your company or who knows what.
    Don't be afraid of change to the point that you just do nothing and stay in a situation you don't want to be in and regret it later on.

    How does your DH feel about your lives? Is he happy with everything as it is or not?
    Only YOU and your DH can make a change(not counting your jobs making changes for you-but those are best not thought about. lol)

    As far as I can see, the only people who WANT to work for someone else fulltime are either those who love their work so much, they would do it for free if no one paid them(the ones with a passion for something) and those who have nothing else in their lives besides work(they define their very being by their job).

    You need to define together where you want to be now, in 5 years, in 10 years, etc. then make a plan to get there. Then just work that plan(adjusting for any curveballs life throws you along the way of course).

    1. We have talked about selling house to downsize. I would love a house no more than 1000 square feet. Currently we are a tad bit less than 1500 square feet. The one thing that is holding me back is this home will be paid for in 3 years. I don't want another mortgage to last longer than that. We will start to look in earnest soon.
      The job.............well finding a job is easier said than done. I've been looking on and off for months and there simply is nothing out there that I am 1-qualified for or 2-am remotely interested in doing. So I'm staying put for the time being.

    2. What about those of us who work out of guilt? :-) I feel guilty not working, even if we could easily adjust and not do it. Don't forget about the guilt!! :-)

    3. I can totally agree with your point. For some reason, if you don't work, it's like you're breaking a law or something.
      ON the other hand I just watched on our local news of an elderly lady who works at Queens College in Charlotte. She's a cashier, looks like the cafeteria or something, been there for over 50 years and she was so thankful for her job. Made me feel guilty.